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All content copyright 2010 by Chelsea Biondolillo. Seriously.

Friday, March 25, 2011

365 days of being a writer: day 219

I don't like my cat at all anymore. He's wrecking my shit. He requires constant attention whenever I'm home, unlike the cats I have dealt with in the past. This behavior is more doggish to me. Or childish. And there is a good reason I don't have either of those. I am the only dramatic crybaby allowed in this house. Period.

So when I come home, all stoked about some new school thing, he's the first thing I see. He's the first whiny, bossy, naggy thing. And I just get mad at him. This is dumb, I get that he's just a stupid cat (and before anyone jumps down my throat, I fucking love cats in general or I wouldn't have adopted him in the first stupid place). It's not his fault. He's bored and lonely. I work all day and then try to work when I get home. But I can't because he has to be a CONSTANT pain in my ass. Cats are supposed to be aloof--yet he is suddenly (ever since I had to get rid of his brother) the complete OPPOSITE of that. My teeth are gritting just to type it. I have to lock him in my room to write. It's not working out. And because no one wants him, there's nothing I can do about it but get more and more pissed off and angry each day that I get home and something else is scratched up or knocked over. I own one goddamn chair that's not a kitchen chair, and I had to put it in storage to save it--it's already ripped down the side, stuffing coming out. My bags, he uses as scratching posts--instead of the SCRATCHING POST he has. I can't sit down but he's fucking ON me.  He goes to the other side of the room and scratches at something or knocks something over just so I will chase him.

I tried to go to the library after work for some research books on a couple of birders, but it was closed. I had to go to my parents to get away from the goddamned cat, so no writing got accomplished. Tomorrow I will try to spend some productive time at the library before I have to come home and start screaming and throwing shoes again.

Had some encouraging conversations with Wyoming today, but there's still no change in my waitlist status. I need to pick an MA this weekend for my own peace of mind. Then I can just wait until April.


meeralee said...

Chelsea, I'm sure this is on your mind, but have you yet called a no-kill shelter in your area? I know sometimes places like that have waiting lists, but you might as well put your cat on one. If you really dislike him as much as it sounds like you do, I don't see how you personally are going to be able to convince someone else that they should adopt him. Both of you deserve to get out of this situation quickly.

Good luck.

Chelsea said...

M~ you are right about my bad attitude making it hard to sell someone else on him. He's a good cat, and it would break me up to not find him a loving home. Someone who will rub their wet hair on him after a shower, and save the plastic strapping tape off Ikea boxes cause he love that stuff.

It's not him, it's me. But omigod: He bangs the kitchen cabinets at night! He chews my shoelaces off! He's killed two plants! This is all fairly new bad behavior, and I feel rotten for not being better at handling him.

Good idea about a shelter, I will look a couple of them up and see what they have to say. ~C