It looks like I will not be "sweeping" this year--which, while I doubted, would have been REALLY FUCKING COOL. The administrative assistant at Penn State told me today that the first round of offers already went out for the nonfiction folks. Why am I not more sad? I feel like I am really supposed to want to go to Penn. But you know what? I really want to go to Wyoming. If you have any wishes left (I don't) wish for me to get off their waitinglist and onto the books.
Now that my application is in at Kansas State, I have no immediate deadlines until April, when a decision is due. I have a couple of trips planned for March, to visit TTU and U Arizona, but otherwise--I can exhale. And I really need to: my house is in shambles, I need to start re-decluttering, I am in the worst shape I've been in in the last three years... I think going forward I am going to focus on two things: a second edit of the Night essay, for a second round of submissions and a new draft of the blackbirds essay. I will still write book reviews for Xenith and (hopefully hopefully) one of the online mags I submitted my science column idea to will bite. But otherwise, I am not going to put any more pressure on myself for the next few months except to pay as much money as I can toward my debt.
If I am awesome (and I know I can be awesome) and live very frugally--a skill I need to improve anyway--I can pay off seven grand of my nine grand plus debt before school starts in the fall. That (plus aforementioned decluttering) is the best thing I could do right now. Have you ever lived in Lubbock? What are the seasons like? How many coats do I need? I know what Tucson is like, and I am trying hard not to daydream too much about what Wyoming is like. So, Lubbock. What's the skinny?
I know I didn't really write today (except at my job) but I am granting a mental health day to myself. I love each and every one of you. Have a great night.