365 days of being a writer: day 317

I submitted something today. It was not on my to-do list.

Why do I always rebel the minute something becomes a "to-do"? The last couple of submissions (aside from the re-worked hummingbirds) were totally off the cuff, not pre-meditated.

All the things I supposedly "want" to write, I have to be dragged to, kicking and screaming. Part of it is fear that what comes out on paper won't be as good as what's in my head--but I worry that part of it, too, is just an unwillingness to do the stuff that's hard sometimes.

I'm all about gratification: instant and delayed. I don't do the hard stuff until the last minute, ever. Maybe because I'm hoping for a last minute reprieve? Sudden inspiration?

I also started reading the text book for English Comp. You know, the class I have to teach? Eeek. Also, it was 115 degrees here today. That surely doesn't help. Only 34 days left!

365 days of being a writer: day 312

Can I bitch a little more about content-on-demand writing? The site I have been writing for just got a new batch of editors and now the same work I have been writing is getting lower and lower "scores" as far as content and structure. It is all shite, but now they're telling me I am not a good writer.

All this, and less than $15 an hour? I just can't bring myself to do them, anymore! I mean, who gives a fuck about the history of workmans' comp or how to grow squash or what kind of rocks are on Mauna Loa that isn't way better off finding that shit out in a LIE-BERRY?!

There has to be a better way to make some cash on the side. (Pre-requisite: I must still be able to respect myself in the morning.) I'm demoralized right now. It's fucking sweatshop writing, and I'm desperate, so they have me over a barrel. Can I imagine the sort of mindless work that I'd be willing to do? No. Hopefully grading papers. Heh. If anyone out there knows of an alternative to Demand, please share.

In better news, I am in the new issue of Creative Nonfiction! I could die from being stoked. One of my cnftweets made the Food issue. Go, buy one!

365 days of being a writer: day 301

The two-week window for submissions to one of my Bucket List journals opened up today. I need to send the hummingbirds off, but I am fretful. The essay needs a better title.

I submitted an article to Demand last night that pays better than most of the how-tos I have written for them. It came back with lengthy edit requests. At first I was bugged, but I am committed to learning to take unasked for criticism with a more open mind. My over-reactions (in general) are the result of rushing to act. If I just take my time to respond to people and situations, it's fine. But in the moment, I get flushed and panicky and defensive. (Being prepared for and expecting criticism is totally different, these are ambushes that I'm talking about.) Anyway, all this to say, I waited until I got home from work to deal with it. And I even gave myself permission *not* to deal with it--but then I rewrote the article from a place of being genuinely appreciative of the editor who pointed out about a dozen little mistakes I have apparently been committing over and over in my formatting. Hopefully, what I know now will mean that my "grammar" score will go up. 

Even if they are paying me well below what is fair or right, copy-editing skills are valuable. I can learn from this.

And I can't believe I keep forgetting to put this up, but my review at Necessary Fiction is UP: Daddy's by Lindsay Hunter

365 days of being a writer: day 265

I relived day 263, twice.

The third quarterly from the 52 | 250 blog came out today: Thirtynine And I am in it! You can find me under week #34: Floating Away.

I also found out that was rejected for one special section on Demand and approved for another. Baby steps, I suppose. Already I have added two articles from my new section to my queue that are plant and food related.

You know what's tough? Naming things. Essays, websites, articles. Names are tough. I have played around with Wordle before, for naming essays. But if it's something bigger, like your whole blog, how do you go about doing it? I suppose some among you will just tell me a thing names itself. Like the way a writer I know commented on yesterday's entry saying essentially that fiction isn't something the writer does, but it's an event that happens--you just have to take good notes.

While I like the romantic notions of this idea, it can be a crutch for a dreamer like myself. The dreamy writer says, I only write when the writing hits me like a sack of flour. Well, I can't live waiting around to be bashed in the head with a brilliant idea. Lucky those who can. I want to write every day. Some days it will be inspired, some days it will be drudgery, but it will be my craft and I will be honing it. To those who find their creativity to be like a train, and who can afford (I don't just mean financially) to wait by the tracks, I salute you.

So, back to names. If the name does just happen, then my inability to spot it or suss it out from the jumble or carve it out from the stone is a shortcoming. I'd prefer for the sake of argument then, to pretend it is an answer to be riddled out. I don't know the answer to the riddle, or even the steps for solving it. For now, it's just a lot of dumb-idea throwing and following of tangential ideas.

PS, I am loving the newest Wordle for the blog:

365 days of being a writer: day 263

I was able to spend a few hours at the botanical garden this morning, but since it was so early, I somehow arrived without a pen.

What kind of lousy writer shows up to quiet, nature-drenched writing time without a pen?

So instead I walked around looked at cacti and succulents and birds and lizards. I watched a fence lizard attempt to seduce another fence lizard. There was a rock dove on a next with chicks. And many wilted datura were flaccid on their stems in the bright sun. Spring has sprung.

I was able to add to the outline of three articles and had a wonderful exchange with an editor who was rejecting one piece, but already accepted another. That's progress, at least we conversed! And hopefully my Coney Island piece will be up next week.

365 days of being a writer: day 246

A soundtrack for today:
Unchained Melody
Unchain My Heart
(Don't Break) These Chains

I submitted another Demand article (library, baby!) and drafted out the supporting material for two more. I also conversed with a bunch of writers far too much.

Having finished Dr. Moreau last night, I decided to give myself a day off of reading list. But tomorrow I will start Pilgrim at Tinker Creek. This weekend, I hope to write up Silent Spring and the creepy, creepy Doctor.

Things I am looking forward to: the eventual (I hope) publication of my Coney Island piece on Used Furniture Review and of Finisher in Thunderclap! Press issue #6; dinner somewhere since I transferred $25 from my Demand earnings (go money!); having a cat free home (someone new is interested in PJ as I am losing faith in the current interested party, having heard no news for two weeks); another (non)lazy weekend chock full of reading and writing--since it is ALMOST! Friday.